Jessica Rey presents the history of the evolution of the swimsuit including the origins of its design, how it has changed overtime and the post-feminist association of the bikini symbolizing female empowerment. She refers to neuro-scientific studies revealing how male brains react to images of scantily clad women versus images of women deemed modest and what the implications of the results are for women in society.
(Note: As the OP, I disagree with Rey’s approach to putting the onus on women to alter ourselves rather than to alter the male perception of women – brain wiring has plenty to do with socialization and if we worked against the culture that fuels men’s objectification of women, women’s clothing choices would matter far less in terms of how men perceive us and determine how to interact with us).
Lifestyle photographer Grace Chon recently turned the camera on her 10-month-old baby Jasper and their 7-year-old rescue dog Zoey, putting them side-by-side in the some of the most adorable portraits ever. [interview]
it ok to not be ready
Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready.
notice here that consent is revoked without ever saying no and consent goes so far beyond yes/no!!!!!!
A quick visual guide to the hymen.
good lord yes, important information for those uninformed
The incredible thing is the number of people who ignore that, and the incredible amount of people within that number who are female.
You know, fanfiction writers should realise that a certain number of young female persons are learning about their own body reading fics that always describe the loss of virginity as searing pain + litres of blood.
Are—are there really people who knowingly ignore the fact and continue to perpetuate the myth?
Really seriously though the prevalence of this narrative is really disturbing to me
guess what, your first time is NOT supposed to hurt. Jesus it’s 2014.
Every time I see a post about hymens and virginity, I need to say this and reiterate it and just make everyone understand:
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
your first time is not supposed to hurt
IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME
REASONS YOU MIGHT BLEED FOR YOUR FIRST TIME:
- Not enough lubrication.
- Not enough preparation.
- Not enough foreplay.
- Your partner is a giant dicksplash.
TIPS AND HINTS FOR YOUR FIRST TIME THAT I WISH I HAD:
- LUBE IS YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND! Yes the vagina secretes a fluid that can act as a natural lubricant but that is not enough for vaginal sex. And for some women (like myself), they do not secrete nearly enough for even penetration, let alone sex. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LUBE.
- FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY!!! You want to be good and turned on, like super turned on, coz the more you’re aroused, the more pliant and warm your vagina is going to be, and it’s more likely to allow a dick in without tearing. Like even when you’re giving birth, doctors nowadays will actually massage the outer rim of your vagina so that everything loosens up and allows A FUCKING BABY TO BE BORN WITHOUT TEARING YOU.
- PREPARATION (WHICH IS SOMEWHAT RELATED TO FOREPLAY)!!!! If you have never had anything in your vagina before, you’re probs gonna need a couple fingers in there to help you loosen up. This can easily be tied into foreplay.
- A GENTLE, UNDERSTANDING LOVER WHO KNOWS AND RESPECTS THE ABOVE HINTS!!!! You don’t have to be in love with the person you first have sex with, but it should be someone who respects you and your boundaries!!! Before having sex with someone, explain to them these things and your masturbatory experience, your wants and needs. If they don’t respect that THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR VAGINA.
Basically it comes down to this: if your partner says “it’s normal to bleed the first time,” sit him (or her) down and talk to them about what actually happens and how it’s supposed to go. If they respect that, cool. If they don’t, fuck ‘em. Actually no, don’t fuck them, dump their ass and find someone who doesn’t subscribe to the belief that anything as lovely and intimate as your first time having sex has to hurt.
This is a basic patriarchal myth to both scare women from having sex, as well as contribute to the laziness of men in terms of making sex enjoyable for their female partners.
Sex never has to hurt. And don’t you dare let anyone tell you that it fucking has to.
If you have health problems that legitimately make vaginal intercourse hurt, there are a billion other things you can do with your partner, and you should communicate your health issues to every single partner. Again, if they respect that, rock on. If they don’t, tell them ‘adios’ and leave the bedroom.
Bringing this back coz it seems hella relevant lately.
I would like to add this:
If you experience a twinge that kinda makes you go “ouch” during your first time, even following each hint, that can be normal.
In my original rant, what I meant by pain and hurt is intense burning, a tearing feeling, sharp pains, and a deep internal pain that lingers after intercourse has been over, even hours later. That is not normal, don’t let anyone tell you it is, and if you experience such things even after proper prep and such, and/or every time you have sex, please seek medical attention to find out what might be wrong.
Lately, straight people have been bashed by the LGBT community as well. People are getting cocky(not saying that heterosexual people aren’t cocky too…)
I believe it’s the uprising in support for same sex couples.
(I myself am not straight, so please don’t call me ‘homophobic’)
which brings me to another point
Just because someone doesn’t support homosexuality, or doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean they’re homophobic. It’s when they insult/degrade/bash a person due to the fact that they’re gay that we have a problem.
Here, I’m talking about the extreme feminists/extreme misogynists
Women, please, for fuck’s sake, do not wish for a man to be castrated/raped/neutered.
Men, please…Women have grown out of the era where we ‘stay in the kitchen/stay home/take care of the children’. There are a lot of women who prefer to get jobs, help support their family, and contribute to society by getting jobs. It should not be the man’s job to bring home the pay check. With the wife bringing one home too, hey more money! Also, both: The opposite sex is not a sex object. No gender is a sex object. The human body is not a sex object. Stop treating it as such.
Tumblr/tumblr gay shippers
For fuck’s sake, do you listen to yourselves when you say ‘make heterosexuality illegal’
…Just think over that.
This one last topic:
Anyone can rape. Anyone. And it’s still fucking serious.
Men can rape women.
Women can rape men.
Women can rape women.
Men can rape men.
Not saying that they should, but It’s just as important/serious. I’ve seen arguments saying it’s not as mentally/physically damaging if a man is raped, or he’s ‘gay’ because he didn’t enjoy it, or that he’s ‘weak’ because a woman ‘overpowered’ him.
Rape is serious. Okay? Okay.
But please, can we all just practice some empathy before we start arguments/bashing? We all have different opinions. Just ‘take a step in the other person’s shoes’.
We shouldn’t act like a bag of dicks. Seriously.
(Also, I would like to point out that I’m not straight and support gay marriage, but hetero people exist and is the ‘norm’, as they say, and I’m alright with that. Anyone hating on anybody won’t make them any better)
I like how this is one of the ONLY things I have seen on Tumblr today that makes sense and isn’t just “Hurrr, straight white male privilege,” yet it doesn’t even get a quarter of reposts or likes than any of that dribble. Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up, grow up, and get along.
I don’t agree that people who have suffered real damage and trauma and hurt should ‘shut the fuck up, grow up, and get along’, because no. Their responses are valid. They are not being childish, fuck off with that.
And I don’t really agree that gay people are getting cocky, necessarily.
And I acknowledge that yeah, groups of privilege have it much easier than oppressed groups. That’s why it’s called privilege.
However, I am very uncomfortable with the ‘men should die etc.’ statements. And the ‘allies should fuck off’. Yes, some of them are the most idiotic people I’ve ever seen! And some of them just want attention. Or a cookie. But some of them are genuine people who care about others, and you really want to tell them you’d rather they hate you instead?
Idk. I’ve been thinking about all of this for a few months now, trying to consider all the sides. I’ve been trying to understand the ‘but it’s okay because it’s not real, I can’t actually affect them’ rhetoric. But it just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m so uncomfortable on tumblr now. I’m scared to post things that I actually believe, like this, because apparently I won’t be a true advocate for social justice issues. Which is bull. I care, I read up on things I don’t understand, my world view is constantly evolving and shifting with the new information. But I will never be comfortable with aimless hate.